A day wouldn’t be enough – Daily Prompt: Thank you

I have a lot of things to be thankful for and a lot of people to be thankful to…

Thankful for:

All the blessings and problems

All the heartaches and disappointments

All the life lessons learned

My family, friends and not-so-good friends

The sun, moon, stars, rain, sky and beach

The precious life given to me

There are too many things and people to be thankful for. I wouldn’t be able to do it in just one day but allow me to give a special mention to the people who added an extra spark in my life today:

Thank you to my Mama, Papa and brother – I couldn’t let a day pass without thanking you for being a part of my life. I love you all for life.

Thank you to my aunts – Mothers who may not have birthed me but still my mama just the same. Thank you for constantly looking after me. There were bad times, but we definitely had a whole lot more of good times together and I’m looking forward to making many more good memories with the both of you.

Thank you to my very cute dongsaeng – A friend,sister by heart and the no. 1 cheerleader whenever I am down. It’s been so long since the last time we met and I’m so thankful we were able to spend time together today. I know you didn’t want to ditch work but you still ended up doing it because of me. You know I loved you more for that!

Thank you C – I still feel very bad for what I have done. I know I’ve disappointed you but you were still very nice to me. I may not be able to return the favor immediately for all the good things you have done, but trust me. I will try my hardest to give back in my own little ways.

And lastly, to you – for taking time to read my ramblings. 🙂

Daily Prompt : Thank you

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Selfishness.Conflict.

Now I’m reaping the results of a rash decision made when I was consumed with too much excitement, hope and happiness. It’s not that the result was bad per se. It’s me who’s the problem here. I’ve thought too highly of my capacity to live on my own and have overestimated myself.  True, I was able to go through 4 yrs. of college, only seeing my parents once or twice each year which made me believe I would be able to pull this off; working from a far away place with no family or relatives by my side.

As expected, I became a disaster. The loneliness and sadness are too much to bear. I became desperate to be freed from the commitment I made in good faith to someone who has been so good to me since the very first time we’ve met. My decision has made me into a selfish and coward girl. Selfish and coward – adjectives I have tried so hard not to associate myself with but I still ended up being one.

Now I’m trapped. Conflicted between what my heart and mind says. Should I stay and suffer some more just to stay true to the commitment I have made? Or be selfish just this once and free myself from the trap I have unfortunately made?

Emotions.Decisons.

I’m finally starting to understand why we were always advised not to make any decisions when feeling too much of a certain emotion. Whether it is happiness, excitement, sadness, anger, hurt, disappointment or any other emotions a human can possibly feel. Why you may ask. My answer would be because more often than not, the results of those decisions does not end up the way we wanted it to be. Rash decisions does not equal to great results. A lesson I learned the hard way. Count from 1 to 10, or even 1 to 100 if need be to let the euphoria of happiness & excitement die down and the anger, hurt, sadness and disappoint subside. It may take a longer time before you can come up with a decision, but chances are, the results will hopefully be the way you wanted it to be. A sound decision can be made when you’ve already thought things through with a clear mind rather than a murky one bursting with emotions.